Sunday, November 23, 2014

Viven Smoked Porter

Belgium, it would be great country, if only it weren't in Belgium.  I dedicate this weeks blog to that fantastic film, In Bruges.  This beer is not from Bruges, though (which is sad, because it means fewer movie references), this beer is from a place so small, you can't even read the name on the label.  No kidding, it may be late and the lights low, but even in better light, good luck passing that eye exam.  The front of the label has no such issues.  Meet Viven Smoked Porter, a product of Belgium.

Ask yourself, "What is Belgium famous for?"  Chocolates and child abuse, mostly.  Did you know they also make beer?  They make many wacky beers, with crazy wild yeasts and often thumb their noses at German purity laws (perhaps a low-carb strawberry beer called She-Wolf?).  They also make the full range of more traditional ales; doing up my malty dark favorites proper.  Here we have the art of Flemish brewing, from a brewery dating back to the dark ages of 1999, producing one of those fun-if-you-can-find-them smoked ales.  I am glad Belgians learned to make beer, because they only invented the chocolates to the to the kids.

Viven Smoked Porter, 11.2oz bottle, 7%ABV.  Opaque deep brown, a small head that dissipates quickly.  Label best appreciated by a discerning drunk, mid-stumble.

The label grabbed my attention right away.  Huge text, shouting out, "Hey Drunkie! Over here! I am definitely a smoked porter!"  So forceful, yet helpful.  The faux-aged look is fun.  I don't care what anyone thinks, give me a stock parchment from Istockphoto, some old-timey fonts, and a crest: I'm good to go.  The front label has may enjoyable things to look at and read while you sit at your favorite bar. I love that.  I don't know what the hell is going on behind the shield on the crest.  If you find out, please tell me.  The back label makes me regret what I just said about the parchment, fonts and stuff.  That rear label is made only of hate and contempt for the honest drunk.  I can't read print that small, and I'm not going to try just so this label thinks it got one over on me.  Screw that back label; it is stupid and I hate it's stupid face.  Lets move on, the back label is a shit-hole anyway.

At glass one, I can safely say, this beer and I are going to be friends.  We have so much in common!  We both have depth and character, we both smell good, and neither one of us is Chinese (a very different movie reference).  It was a surprisingly short trip to the bottom of glass one.  Despite the respectable (but not excessive) ABV, this guy is smooth and easy.  As far as smoked porters go, Viven's is well put together.  It is not trying to be fancy, just good.  See?  Just like me.

The smell of this beer is gooooooood.  Don't you just love the smell of a smoked beer?  I mean, a porter smells good, but a smoked porter... Well, you just don't pass that up.  Unless you are driving or operating heavy machinery, one should always make time for the bouquet of a lovely smoked beer.  So, it smells good, how's it taste?  Have you ever sat in a large, cushion-y wing-back chair?  Ever had a nice glass of red wine and watched the rain fall outside the window?  I could say words like malty, rich, bitter chocolate, coffee, smoky, yeasty,  and the rest of the crew.  But you already know what a porter tastes like, and a smoked porter as well.  What is notable about this fellow, is how well it works.  Most beers will have a few notes that disagree with me.  Not this one.  Viven just makes it work.  Crappy back label: forgiven.

If you find this beer, buy it. Then hide from your friends and loved ones, wait until you are alone, fluff up your favorite comfy chair, and enjoy.  If you need a place to hide, there are a lot of alcoves in the Astridpark.  You use this word, "alcoves"?


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