G. Schneider & Sohn, Schneider Weisse Aventinus Eisbock

"Aventinus has been known to be the most intense and

complex wheat-doppelbock in the world.  This was the 

 case in the past, but not anymore."

With a bold claim like that plastered on the label, I felt obliged to bring on the righteous judgment.  Join me on this journey, won't you?

Let's get right into it.  This beer whollups you with a big fist of flavor.  It is a syrupy, mildly vinegary, malty, sour, and just a little strange.  At first, anyway.  The "strange" part, I mean.  The rest stays just like I said it.  

I had a strawberry balsamic ice cream once, and it had a similar quality to this stuff.  The are both... I'm going to say, "challenging."  Sure, I'm drinking it.  I'm drinking it, and I'm liking it.  I really don't know why, though.  I don't want to like it.  I want to get angry at it, and beat it up with a stick behind a 7-11.  But, like a naughty puppy, I just can't stay mad.  I want another glass of this naughty puppy!

...

shit...

...

What I mean is that I, irrationally, and despite my best efforts, am enjoying this beer.  It is a really good beer.  People should know this naughty puppy beer.

Still, it bragged about being the rebirth and improvement of "the most intense and complex wheat-doppelbock in the world," and, for that, a bit of a slap-down is in order.  So, here goes: this is a one-bottle beer.  It may not even be that.  I'm working over time to get to the bottom of my second glass, and I still have a quarter of the bottle left.  You know that feeling you get when you are full at a buffet, but you haven't made your money back yet?  You bet you ass you are going back for more, godammit (grumble, bitch, gripe).  If I make it to the bottom of this bottle, I fully expect end up half-blind and filled with self-loathing.  Sweet, delicious, syrupy self-loathing.  

While I'm feeling punchy, I take issue with this beer's basic claim.  I really doubt that this is the pinnacle of intensity and complexity in the wheat-doppelbock world.  That just can't be true.  I've got my broom.  I call shenanigans, officially.  

Two sips left to go.  

It is an interesting and good beer, split one with somone you have mixed feelings about.  Give them more than you are having.

One sip left.  I really don't want it.

G. Schneider & Sohn, Schneider Weisse Aventinus Eisbock (I assume because they froze something to increase the natural sugars, like with ice wine, or I have no idea what "eisbock" means), from Bavaria, German.  11.2 fl. oz, and a whopping 12% ABV.  Dark brown, some head lingers for a minute or two, but don't wait that long to drink it.

still one sip left... godammit...