Magic Hat Stealin' Time Summer Wheat while watching Alien3

What happens when you combine Magic Hat's Stealin' Time summer wheat ale with a few hours watching Aline3?

It wasn't the best Alien movie.  It isn't the best beer.  But I have an evening to myself and nothing to do but write about beer.  So, I started the movie and cracked my first beer.

The beer was cold when Newt and Hicks died.  By the time Ripley woke up and the dog was clearly going to be in trouble, the bottle had started to sweat.  When the bodies started dropping the crispness of the cold wheat beer was cutting through the heavy handed set designs and color palettes, No beer will ever be enjoyable when a dog is killed (theatrical or not, that was a cute rottweiler).  And by the cafeteria scene I was on beer number 2.

Like I said, this isn't the best beer ever, but it is a good beer.  Pretty much everything Magic Hat puts out is good.  They do some excellent work and keep up a fun and light-hearted corporate nature.  This particular beer is a quality wheat beer.  Do you like wheat beer? If so, you'll like this one just fine.  You won't write home about it.  You won't taste the  tears of god in it.  You certainly won't need a change of pants after drinking it.  But, you'll like it just fine.

And similarly, the movie sure ain't getting a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes (it has a 44%).  The plot is half-assed and regurgitated.  Two thirds of the cast the fans wanted died before the opening credits rolled.  People keep on making fucking speeches and speeches and more goddam speeches. The only real saving grace for the cast that is in this movie is that most of them die horribly.  But, there are some decent performances.  The set design and photography is pretty good.  The whole thing would make a great Doctor Who episode (with barely any rewrites needed, just a few name changes).  Alien3, for all its many faults isn't totally without merit or entertainment value.

You know, by beer three, it's really easy to get into this flick.  I care about how viciously the xenomorph will demolish this prisoners.  And now that the company men are on scene, I want to down this beer to make sure I have a very cold, very crisp beer for when they get theirs'.  Oh, how I hope they get theirs'.

Beer says "F' yeah! Bishop!"  But, human Bishop is bad.  He's a bad bad man.  Magic Hat and Ripley don't trust human Bishop.  Aw, snap!  Human Bishop is a dirty company-man, a repulsive

hold on, need a new beer...

Anyway, he's a shit and Ripley just Terminator 2'd herself.  Perfect form too.  So, yeah... fluff Weyland/Yutani and their bio-weapons division.  And, fluff me, I drank a few beers and have to pee.

That movie mostly sucked, but the beer was mostly good.  I'm going to rename this beer Wastin' Time, because "stealin'", my ass.  This is a time wastin' beer.  I'm glad I wasted time with it, and you will be too.  Go for the 6-pack.

Bastogne La Truffette Belledete

"Ew."

This week I am joined by my friend and beer brewing partner, Omar (Omargeddon on G+ and facesbook). We are drinking a bottle we found that looked to have a lot of potential, but ended up simply begging the question: does being a summer wheat beer excuse an un-enjoyable taste if imbibed in winter?  And, I'm with Omar on this one when I say "no".  No sir, I don't like it.

-Swish, swirl, stare, sip, ponder, say, "I think this horse was diabetic."

                                      -A Witty Person

-It's like concentrated Miller Lite-

                                      -Omar

Bastogne La Trouffetee Belle d'ete, a summer wheat with coriander and orange peel.  Brewed at Brasserie de Bastogne, Belgium. 1pint, 9.4 oz, 5.7% ABV. Golden amber with a modest head.

The label is pleasing and features an ugly wood-block boar, evocative of Asian shadow puppets. Why?  Because Belgium, that's why.   The whole look is fun, but not special.  In a bold move  the label offers the e-mail address, info@brasseriedebastogne.be, so, if you have questions (or dick-pics) have fun with that.  Perhaps they would like to see your bottle and cork?

Our opinion is that this beer is crap.  I mean that nicely.  Nice, nice, crap.  Don't drink it.  It's probably low-carb.  Who knows, this swill might be organic or some shit.  At first sip, there is bitterness and a sharp chill.  The advertised coriander and orange peel make themselves known, followed by... disappointment.  Do you remember in that one episode of Better Off Ted, when they have the guy taste testing the lab-grown meat, and they ask him what it tastes like?  He responds, "...despair?"  I'm not saying this beer tastes like despair.  I'm saying Omar nailed it with concentrated Miller Lite.  

The taste break-down... well, I don't care.  It is gross and I don't want to think about it.  I'm sure there are many many good and honest people who might drink this and enjoy it whole-heartedly.  But, that ain't me.  And it ain't Omar.  So, to all those people: good news, you can have mine.

Should you find yourself in a back-alley drinking contest against the Germans, and it all comes down to this final chug, feel free to forget to spin the boot.  Yes, you will lose and be lame forever, but at least you won't have to finish a glass of this shit.