Thor's Hammer Barley Wine Ale

"It smells like fruit." comments Diego
"Rancid Fruit ass." retorts Omar
"Carbonation OK, thick, good viscosity, tastes exactly like it smell, rancid fruit ass.  the aftertaste makes me thing I swallowed a fart!  Minda's gonna be pissed if I go home and kiss her with this mouth." ~ Diego
"More like Ass Hammer" ~ Omar
"It's Thomas' son's fault" ~Diego
"The only Esther I know is an anal retentive ginger who is into DAvid Bowie"
"The only Esther I know makes tacos."
"This clearly tastes like ass hammer that went through the sewer"
"I'd rather have joey shit in my mouth than drink this."
Now I owe Diego for mouth raping his beer face after a day of foreplay.
Worse than the watered down Guinness we had at the theater.
Goddamit, I hate this beer, After these a-holes all I can taste is fruit ass.
"Second to last thing we had was 13%, the last was 7.5% and the people next to us were a couple of Spanish folks." I couldn't hear the lisp, but Diego did.
Central City Brewers and Distillers, it's a fukkin' Canadian Beer, said Omar as he lost his shit.
They might kill me.
It had three golden balls, like James Bond's family crest! and rightfully so.  Balls!
Goddam Kanadian Beer.
"Might as well have a canuk stick his dick in my mouth."
"Doesn't taste like maple syrup." ~The Maple Avenger
"I should just brush my teeth with a curling broom." ~Omar
Diego is way ahead in drinkin', cause the Mexican in him won't let him leave a glass unfinished.  He's a chump.  We been drinkin' all day.
And now we're talking about gothic horror and Crimson Peak.  The word is that it's classic Guillermo Del Torro, beautifully crafted and poorly written.  The Alamo beer sucks, but the Mondo glass is cool.
It's a long way to the end of this glass, Diego says that is because it's a shitty beer.
And it is a shitty beer.
It is rich and full and very alcoholic (11.5% ABV), but it is blech lame.
It is too sweet.
It is too fruity.
It should have been mead if they were gonna call it "Thor's Hammer".  Those guys fucked me pretty.  Well, fuck them too!
I hate you, Thor's Hammer!
We will fight and I must break you like Drago broke Apollo Creed!  I MUST BREAK YOU!
They blame me.
They think I did this to them on purpose!
Omar and Diego are plotting against me.
They say I don't feed the cats, but I fee the shit out of these goddam cats!  They're fukkin elderly!  That's why they drool and shed all the time.  It's not me, it's just fate.
I hate my friends.  I will destroy them.  I made them drink bad beer and now they fear me.  You fear me too.
We have yet to get through one glass of this horse shit and it sucks sucks sucks.
Drink it and share our pain!
Diego finished his...
do you dare be half the man Diego is?  I don't.