Lake Monster "unfiltered"

I look forward each week to writing this blog.  I have a process that I get a kick out of: first I pick a store that I know has a decent beer selection (often my local HEB), then I scour through the onesies for something that meets my criteria (never had it before, looks interesting or unique, and won't break the bank), it gets home and goes straight into the fridge, before the week is out, I find a quiet few hours, grab my favorite reviewing glass, crack my beer open, pour, take a pic, then take a sip.  There is some crap about reviewing the beer in blog form after that, but that part is mostly bullshit anyway and not worth wasting time on.  The thing I was thinking about while taking that first sip today was the pure joy I get from this process.  I don't know about you, but, for me, taking the first sip of a new beer is like remembering that things aren't all bad.  The beer may be great or it may suck balls, but the worst thing that happens at that moment is that I get to try a new beer.  Plus, little known fact, if you blog about the beer you drink, the calories don't count and it improves muscle tone.

"So, I got that going for me."

                      ~C. Spackler

This week's beer got my attention (and became the first canned beer I've reviewed) by a notable absence, any kind of helpful description of its contents, what-so-ever.  The can says "Lake Monster/Unfiltered/Produced one batch at a time".  So many questions... What the hell kind of beer is in this can?  Why won't they tell me?  "Unfiltered" what?  Why is "OTXBC" spelled out in stars?  I have to have answers.  Too many secrets.

So OTXBC stands for Oasis Texas Brewing Company.  That's an easy one.  Meet, Lake Monster (Unfiltered), a dark, creamy, and outwardly undescribed beer.  There is no notation of ABV, type of beer, flavors, or any other damn thing.  All we learn from the label is that it has single-batched pride, comes in a 16oz can, and finally an ominous warning that "Lake Monster be not for the faint of heart. It pushes the boundaries of the brewers art."  The label has some fancy art bits, paying homage to its titular creature, the spooky night-ness of its referenced genre, some iconic water towers, some Austin bats, a UFO, and general what-nots.  There is a lot of fun in a beer label that wants to be a 50's monster movie.  Doesn't give away much about the beer, though.  It seems all the answers to this mystery can only be found... within.

The first sip of this beer is pretty good stuff.  I have to admit, I wasn't expecting a good beer.  I generally think that a beer that doesn't want to describe its self most likely has a reason to hide (Dr. Doom style shame?).  But it is rich and dark and creamy and smooth.  Oooh, also there are many bubbles.  Really good bubbles.  The only problem I have with this beer is that it's what I would call a "Bar Beer", the kind of beer best enjoyed saddled up to a bar, a jukebox playing, dimly lit, with some god-dammed peanuts!  I cannot fully enjoy a beer like this without some honey-roasted peanuts.  All I have with me are some fantastic, but not quite perfect, sugared peanuts from Singapore, sweet but not salty.  This damn Lake Monster will put its grippy tentacles on you and make you crave sweet salty freedom.  I would be in pure bliss if only my room wasn't as well lit ,my chair not so comfy, and my sweet nuts saltier.

British "people", I have heard, drink their beer at room temperature for a number of reasonable reasons, but I like my beer cold, Hoth cold (I know).  Cold beer is like an unsolicited wink from a sexy stranger, it just makes you feel good.  As darker beers warm up, they give up richer aromas and flavors and I'm two glasses and several degrees warmer into this one.  It is still cooler than room temp, though, (so I'm not British gross or nothin') when player 2 enters the game.  Suddenly nuts.  Well... nuttiness.  After eating a handful of peanuts, I taste a distinct nutty aroma.  I also taste everything one might expect to find in a stout or a porter or a Lake Monster.  It is dark and malty, but instead of the familiar metallic tinge there is a nice alcoholic vapor that lingers in my mouth.  Booze, malt, cream, caramel, and bubbles make this a solid sipper.  

Whatever the ABV of this beer is, it is a heavy hitter.  I'm feeling it at oz 14.  So, go, when you find a moment to slip away, and find a bar that serves this beer.  Sip is quietly and play something good on the jukebox, and think fondly of my sweet (but not salty) nuts.

Working Stiff Ale

Long day? Overwrought? Stressed? Well, gowdamit, drink! According to this beer, you need to drink this beer.  After all, nothing caps off a long day of sobriety and meaningful contributions to society like a pint of ironic ale.

Working Stiff Ale from Texas Big Beer Brewery in Buna, Texas.  1 pint 6 oz bottle.  6.6% ABV. Golden amber.  Still no foamy goodness after the first 30 seconds (why do they deny me?).

I like a good beer as much as the next guy.  Who wouldn't?  Especially if you are standing next to me!  So, you know how in movies and on the TV people will go to bars and ask for "a beer" (?!?) and the gruff bartender will slide them a tall cool frosty mug of some amber goodness?  This is what that beer should taste like.  It isn't magnificent.  It isn't special.  It is exactly what it needs to be in order to be a solid after-work beer.

The label depicts an alcoholic burying his work ethic, and the name dares you to wonder if he took Viagra before he got to the work site that day.  It asserts that its influences are the pub ales of 1800's London, with their lightness and balance and hops and blah blah blah... whatever, who cares.  Drinking time.

Not a lot to say, really.  This is, as it claims to be, a well balanced, light, drinkable, nice beer.  They made a solid damn beer.  Drink it, you'll see.  It isn't super costly.  Neither is it hard to find.  But.. hrm...

You know what? While this is certainly a damn decent beer, and I am enjoying drinking it, don't buy one for yourself.  Drink it on someone else's dime.  Unless you are just dying to know what this tastes like, you can live a long and full life without ever spending your own money on this good beer.  In a nutshell, while this beer is nothing to write a blog about, it is also one of the few beers I've put in my face that I have absolutely no complaints about either.  So, drink it or don't, it is a no-lose scenario.