13th Centure Grut Bier

Sometimes you see something truly interesting on the local beer shelf.  You think to yourself, "Why not? I dare do all that may become a man."  It was in that Shakespearean moment that I read the following on a strange and interesting bottle:
   
     "Grut bier has roots in many cultures and each culture has it's own 'special ingredients': Egyptians, Native      Americans, Arabian Tribes, Gaulles, Germanic Tribes and the Vikings.
     This interpretation of a traditional Grut Bier is spiced with Lorbeer (bay leaves), Ingwer (ginger),                    Kummel (caraway [...]), Anis (anise [...]), Rosemarnin (rosemarie) & Enzian (gentian).  It is brewed with      water, wheat & barley malt.  "Polinated wild hops" and fermented using top fermenting yeast."

So of course I had to try it.  I tried it for myself, so that I would know, and for the world, so that you would know too.  One of us really got the short end of the stick on this deal.

So, here we have the 13th Century Grut Bier, sold in a 1 pint bottle, 4.6% ABV, from the good Dr. Fritz Briem in Munich.  A light straw colored ale, with a rapidly fading head.

As is my way, glass number 1 is a just-drink-it-and-see glass.  I had no idea what to expect from this one.  The label offers no real clues aside from the flavoring ingredients.  As reading a bread recipe won't give most people an idea about the taste, so too was the list quoted above unhelpful for divining the flavor I was about to experience.  However, if the person in charge of copy for the label had just written the following in big bold letters, I think I would have gotten the general idea: "IT TASTES LIKE HATE-FUCKING A GRAPEFRUIT".  I'm sure there is a reason some recipes are forgotten or lost.  I don't think the world was worse off for moving on from this concoction.  In all fairness, by the bottom of the glass, I was feeling much less assaulted and ready to give it a real think.

Glass 2, and what I found there.  The citrus is first and foremost.  That poor grapefruit I spoke of earlier will darken my soul forever.  But, I really want to see if I can weed out that list of ingredients.  Bay leaves: a hint, but not of the dried leaves so much as the subtle change the leaves produce in a soup, a slightly tangy, richness.  Ginger: the ginger parties with the citrus and makes itself known (not the life of the party but clearly brought a gift).  Caraway seeds: I have no idea what those taste like, pass.  Anise: nope, can't taste it.  Rosemarie & gentian: does anyone know what those are, much less what they taste like?  The big-boy flavor of this beer has to come from the wild hops.  I don't know why it had to be in quotes on the label, but there must be a reason aside from an warehouse sale on printer's marks. Maybe they meant to use air-quotes.

Grapefruit and some other stuff, that is what I taste.  But, mostly this beer is shit.  Don't drink it.  Don't seek it out.  If it finds you, run.  If it catches you, use the cyanide pill implanted in your molar.  Remember the tooth, but let's hope it doesn't come to that.  Until next time, be safe, keep your guard up, then don't drink this beer.