Mouthful #1, the name: Aecht Schlenkerla Urbock, or Aecht Schlenferla Rauchbier <ges. gesch> Urbock, or Original Schlenkerla Smokebeer. I have no idea what this beer is called. It really could be any of several German things written on the label, or all of them. I don't speak German, but I do drink it. When I drink this, it is still a mouthful.
As I stated, this beer is likely called Original Schlenkerla Smokebeer (google tranlsate has no friggin idea what any of it means, except that "Rauchbier" means "smokebeer"), comes in a 1 pint bottle, 6.5%ABV, brewed and bottled in Bamberg, Germany. It is a dark, semi-opaque amber, and has just a little lingering foam after a minute.
The label is the kind of horrible shit you would expect to see on a sign at an Oktoberfest booth (in Texas). In an earlier blog I confessed my love of old parchment and what not, but here we see a prime example of not to do parchment and scroll. With its overly manuscript-y type and half-assed curled page, I feel like the designer barely contained their contempt for the eventual viewer. Most of the words on the front label dissolve into a puddle of unidentifiable letters and lines, shoe-horned onto a bad stage-prop. I cannot disparage this label enough. As a beer-drinker, I'm offended. As a designer, I'm outraged. There is even a strange "Yay, Drunkie" wax seal that seems to say, "The Choice of Hobo Tramps Everywhere". And, really, what the hell is the name of this beer?
There ends the problems I have with this beer,and brings me to Mouthful #2. Sweet Jesus, this beer is good. Finger-lickin' good. Smokey, dark, malty, nutty, dense,... Leave it to the Germans: this beer is the real deal. In addition to the usual photo of the bottle and pour, I have included a second photo. Scroll down and see my dog Tofu. She is necessary to this review, because this is the kind of beer you have to drink with your dog. If you have a dog, you probably know what I mean. If you don't have a dog, go buy this beer, take a sip, then go rent a dog, and try the beer again. You'll understand. This beer is so rich of an experience, you need to have a quite drink, just you and your dog, to fully appreciate all it has to offer. Don't drink this at a bar, with friends, or in a well-lit room. Wait for sunset, pour your glass, get your dog, settle in on your front step, and take a drink while scratching your dog's ear. I promise, you will sip the very essence of a beautiful moment. My dog looks shy in the picture because she is naked, not because the beer isn't wonderful.
Second glass is poured. I want to evaluate the flavors as they happen, but I don't know that when I take that sip, I will be able to care. I like drinking this beer. I don't want to over-think it, just live it. Stream of consciousness it is! smoke, cold-fizz, camp fires, woods, pecans, sleeping in a hammock, steak, bar-b-que.
That is it! Liquid bar-b-que. I realize that sounds disgusting. Drink the beer anyway, and be connect with all things manly. This beer could be a lumberjack. If it was a different color, it would be plaid, on flannel. Buy this beer, rent a dog, watch the sun set, reconnect with something necessary in all our lives. Just don't look at the label.
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