Perle ai Porci Oyster Stout

Adorable little piggies are not just for breakfast anymore!  Isn't that great?  I had felt so limited.  Plus, oysters and clams are now useful for more things than just trying to score.  It seems that modern science had finally combined a picture of a piggy, oysters, clams, and beer into just beer.  I then combined that beer with my face, and now I'm gonna tell you all about it.

Take a second, right now, to scroll down and look at the picture. Go ahead, I'll wait...

Did you see it?  The piggy?  She's all monocular and dressed for a night out.  What you saw there is a prime example of a damn fine, eye-catching beer label.  Now, I'm 80% certain that no such pig exists in real life, but when have I ever let real life get in the way of my beer drinking?  Correct, madam.  Never!  I believe in this pig, even though she cannot fly, and is just an ordinary pig.  Seriously, this beer could have been absolute crap, or worse, empty, and I would still have enjoyed it just for the pig on the label.

As for the label, the content is boiler plate, blah blah blah, recycle, blah blah blah, surgeon general.  But the rest is inspiring.  The shape of the label, the colors and care taken with the art, the funky bottle with its embossed brewer's logos, and a portrait of a pig, severe yet comic in its handling, with text gracefully hugging the contours of the shield-like pig-frame...  I am in romantic love with this logo, and we are going to be happy together dammit.  The children will be raised Jewish for obvious reasons.  I like the label is what I'm saying.

Perle ai Porci (Pearls Before Swine) Oyster Beer from Birra Del Borgo, Borgorose, Italy (Birradelborgo.it if you nasty).  5.5%ABV in an 11oz bottle.  "Ale brewed with oysters and clams."  Pretty dark, mostly un-foamy, and a cute little piggy.  We're a couple.

I've been sipping away at the first glass while writing this (which explains and excuses all grammatical mistakes), and I like it.  It is smooth and deep, but doesn't have a real big flavor oomph.  It is an easy-going beer, drifting along and taking its time.  It has a bit of sourness and a heavy malt, but I don't taste anything of the oysters and clams.  No brine, no seafood flavor, no smell of the ocean.  The flavors are familiar and good.  This is a solid stout, well constructed and delivers an easy satisfaction to my face.  You'd probably like it too.

I spent some time in Italy, and, while there, I spent some money in Italian bars.  Italians, in general, drink shit beer.  Horrible, waste-of-a-glass beer.  So when I see the name of this beer, and I taste it, I can only think the Porci in question are the beer drinkers of Italy.  Certainly not me.  I'm awesome and people like me.  My beer-pig significant other told me so.  If I were Italian beer drinking swine, would that still make this beer the pearls?  Would this beer be the pearls cast before swine?

The second glass held no surprises.  The flavors did not open up and the aromatics remained as they were.  And that's OK.  The smells are of a sweet chocolate and the first tastes are of rich malt and a hint of Mexican chocolate.  Then comes the acidity and a mild sourness, but pleasantly.  Maybe even a hint of tart grapes.  A very drinkable beer.  With a touch of sour grapes.

But, Perle ai Porci?  That is a bold claim, even for an Italian.  In Italy, this may be the perle, but here, now, for me?  No.  As I said, I'm awesome.  For me, this is birra a ubriachi (questionably according to google translate).  I like it, though, and it likes me.  We've got a good thing going.